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My 2010 life. Warning, may be long.
5 min read
Wow, I wasn't really moved or anything by the coming of the new year. But as I signed into DA today, I noticed all the cheer of either having a good year, or a bad year being over. Never thought about it till now, but in my life, this has to have been the biggest year I've had.
~~~~Started off the new year 2010 by going to a Three Days Grace concert with my ex. A quickie on the way home lead to a full blown melt down for one reason or another, and I overdosed on Ativan. I was out of it for days. My friends still tease me about calling them up and telling them all about the weird strings coming out of my fingers.... -.-'
Started sleeping with a friend, Yargendar, from my social group, who consequently was in love with my best friend. Was okay at first, then I became sick of being number 2, so dumped his ass.
Met Harm. Pretty cool guy from Alberta. Tattoos, piercings, most amazing eyes, funny, really liked me, co-worker (uh oh) and attitude problem. We last almost two months, but by the end it got ugly.
Got back together with Yargendar, as a real relationship, cause apparently me telling him where to fuck himself made him 'fall madly in love' with me. Was nice at first, but now that I had him, I realized, I REALLY did not want him. He still had to much growing up to do.
We've covered from Jan to start of July. In this time, I had slept with another co-worker multiple times, strictly sex, both at his place and in the first aid room at work. XD Bold, eh? I slept with my other best friend's boyfriend....again (see 2009 -.-''). I am such a bitch. Any consolation to her, they technically were on a break every time. Also had sex with my ex, the one who sent me into a melt down at beg. Of year a few times.
I held a part time job, nearly full time through all this time. Still lived at home, with my mum and two younger siblings. My mother is deathly ill, so I've been taking care of things for years. Gets stressful at times, but no other options, that is what family does. (one reason Harm and I broke up, he wanted me to stop taking care of everything and LIVE)
July. I meet Matt. If I start to write about him seriously, it will go on in a terrible ramble for many many pages. So I'll try to keep it short.
Met him through mutual friends, we were fuck buddies, then basically roommates, and now, when he gets back from the coast tomorrow, he needs to decide if we are going to date, or If I am leaving. We have a good thing, roommates, bestfriends who have the best sex ever!! But I want him to be mine, with no worries.
WOW. I had to re-write that from two pages. Told you I'd rambled.
Now lets back up. My mother and I FIGHT like crazy. Almost killed her a few times myself. But shhh.
In August, I moved out (in a "You walk out that door, don't come back!!" "OOOOOKAAAAY" kinda way) in with my friend. I rent out a room for a low rent. Pretty great. I also quit my other job, and got a great one as a front desk receptionist at a popular Resort. (I live in the Okanagan, on the lake, a high tourist destination) AWESOME. Still here. Ups and downs, but good.
So. This year, I've been a slut. Moved out. Got a good job that pays well. Turned legal age, and gone clubbing. Smoke...just quit. (let's try and keep it that way). Discovered I have a name for an illness I've had since birth. Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. Made new friends, lost old ones. One good terms with my mother now. Tried to kill myself a few times (but they were intentional tries...if I wanted too, I would've succeeded). Gotten help (not really, just more drugs). And yeah. I've succucfully rambled on today, and am happy that I can do this. RAMBLED AWAY ON DA, and whether or not anyone reads it, it pleases me that I've made a bunch of friends here this year. One who I hope to save one day soon from her misery.
Anywaaaaaaaaaaaays, BEST OF LUCK THIS YEAR!!
^ That is as positive about life as you'll ever see me.
huh, at the end of this, doesn't seem very big. But it really was.
~~~~Started off the new year 2010 by going to a Three Days Grace concert with my ex. A quickie on the way home lead to a full blown melt down for one reason or another, and I overdosed on Ativan. I was out of it for days. My friends still tease me about calling them up and telling them all about the weird strings coming out of my fingers.... -.-'
Started sleeping with a friend, Yargendar, from my social group, who consequently was in love with my best friend. Was okay at first, then I became sick of being number 2, so dumped his ass.
Met Harm. Pretty cool guy from Alberta. Tattoos, piercings, most amazing eyes, funny, really liked me, co-worker (uh oh) and attitude problem. We last almost two months, but by the end it got ugly.
Got back together with Yargendar, as a real relationship, cause apparently me telling him where to fuck himself made him 'fall madly in love' with me. Was nice at first, but now that I had him, I realized, I REALLY did not want him. He still had to much growing up to do.
We've covered from Jan to start of July. In this time, I had slept with another co-worker multiple times, strictly sex, both at his place and in the first aid room at work. XD Bold, eh? I slept with my other best friend's boyfriend....again (see 2009 -.-''). I am such a bitch. Any consolation to her, they technically were on a break every time. Also had sex with my ex, the one who sent me into a melt down at beg. Of year a few times.
I held a part time job, nearly full time through all this time. Still lived at home, with my mum and two younger siblings. My mother is deathly ill, so I've been taking care of things for years. Gets stressful at times, but no other options, that is what family does. (one reason Harm and I broke up, he wanted me to stop taking care of everything and LIVE)
July. I meet Matt. If I start to write about him seriously, it will go on in a terrible ramble for many many pages. So I'll try to keep it short.
Met him through mutual friends, we were fuck buddies, then basically roommates, and now, when he gets back from the coast tomorrow, he needs to decide if we are going to date, or If I am leaving. We have a good thing, roommates, bestfriends who have the best sex ever!! But I want him to be mine, with no worries.
WOW. I had to re-write that from two pages. Told you I'd rambled.
Now lets back up. My mother and I FIGHT like crazy. Almost killed her a few times myself. But shhh.
In August, I moved out (in a "You walk out that door, don't come back!!" "OOOOOKAAAAY" kinda way) in with my friend. I rent out a room for a low rent. Pretty great. I also quit my other job, and got a great one as a front desk receptionist at a popular Resort. (I live in the Okanagan, on the lake, a high tourist destination) AWESOME. Still here. Ups and downs, but good.
So. This year, I've been a slut. Moved out. Got a good job that pays well. Turned legal age, and gone clubbing. Smoke...just quit. (let's try and keep it that way). Discovered I have a name for an illness I've had since birth. Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. Made new friends, lost old ones. One good terms with my mother now. Tried to kill myself a few times (but they were intentional tries...if I wanted too, I would've succeeded). Gotten help (not really, just more drugs). And yeah. I've succucfully rambled on today, and am happy that I can do this. RAMBLED AWAY ON DA, and whether or not anyone reads it, it pleases me that I've made a bunch of friends here this year. One who I hope to save one day soon from her misery.
Anywaaaaaaaaaaaays, BEST OF LUCK THIS YEAR!!
^ That is as positive about life as you'll ever see me.
huh, at the end of this, doesn't seem very big. But it really was.
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Heartbreak is not a metaphor.
3 min read
I always thought heartbreak was just a metaphor. How could I have guess that there was a literal meaning to the word?
Matthew, Matt. The guy I was dating, without the dating label. I lived with him more often than not, although I did have a roommate at another place. We hung out, cooked, clean, did couply things. We were a couple, not exclusive though.
So he is a social butterly, he really is. And he has been making a shit ton of friends, everytime we go out. I don't care. W/e.
Miranda. A young, young girl, who is still in highschool. 15 years old, in fact comes into the picture. Her and My Matt hit it off. I can't be completely jealous, I mean, I am still the one he comes home too, and he swore he'd never touch a highschool student.
Let me clear things up. I am 19. Matt is 21.
One day, they come into my office ( Front desk Reservations at a resort)
and we've made plans to go to back to his place to watch a movie. Normal everyday stuff. That was a night I was going to spend there anyways, I always do.
Out of the blue, he says, "Hey, I found some of your clothes in my room."
Me: No fucking shit, I practically live there."
Matt: Well the rule was that if I ever got an actual girlfriend you'd haveto remove your stuff.
Me: Excuse me?
Matt: Yeah, I have a girlfriend. Pulls miranda over. This shy, no redeeming qualities (at least yet, she's 15, and learning about herself for fucks sakes)
I am like. Oh. Okay. Let's go.
We walk home. Or should I say HIS HOME, and we proceed to watch the movie.
Now, only reason I didn't flip at first, is because Matt and I were NOT dating. Just living together, buying groceries together, spending all our time together, having the best damn sex I've ever had together for the last few months. But not dating, nor exclusive.
But as we sat there, and he tilted her head to kiss her, something inside snapped. I was totally confused. I wan't to scream. My chest Hurt SOO BAD. I didn't understand. Emotions are supposed to be a mental thing, right? Not something that cause you physcial pain, and later on the lack of ability to breathe...righT??
Sum: He kicked me out of his life, for a 15 year old, who is a virgin, and plans on staying that way. Matt is the horniest guy alive, that is why him and I got along so well.
She is in ninth grade. He is 21, a roofer.
She is a Gemini. He is a Pisces.
I am furious. I am terrible at explaining, but could really use some FUCK you poetry to read.
I want to know why some girl was better than me? And why so fucking young?
This is me ranting on serious medications, so emotions are pretty numbed. FYI.
Matthew, Matt. The guy I was dating, without the dating label. I lived with him more often than not, although I did have a roommate at another place. We hung out, cooked, clean, did couply things. We were a couple, not exclusive though.
So he is a social butterly, he really is. And he has been making a shit ton of friends, everytime we go out. I don't care. W/e.
Miranda. A young, young girl, who is still in highschool. 15 years old, in fact comes into the picture. Her and My Matt hit it off. I can't be completely jealous, I mean, I am still the one he comes home too, and he swore he'd never touch a highschool student.
Let me clear things up. I am 19. Matt is 21.
One day, they come into my office ( Front desk Reservations at a resort)
and we've made plans to go to back to his place to watch a movie. Normal everyday stuff. That was a night I was going to spend there anyways, I always do.
Out of the blue, he says, "Hey, I found some of your clothes in my room."
Me: No fucking shit, I practically live there."
Matt: Well the rule was that if I ever got an actual girlfriend you'd haveto remove your stuff.
Me: Excuse me?
Matt: Yeah, I have a girlfriend. Pulls miranda over. This shy, no redeeming qualities (at least yet, she's 15, and learning about herself for fucks sakes)
I am like. Oh. Okay. Let's go.
We walk home. Or should I say HIS HOME, and we proceed to watch the movie.
Now, only reason I didn't flip at first, is because Matt and I were NOT dating. Just living together, buying groceries together, spending all our time together, having the best damn sex I've ever had together for the last few months. But not dating, nor exclusive.
But as we sat there, and he tilted her head to kiss her, something inside snapped. I was totally confused. I wan't to scream. My chest Hurt SOO BAD. I didn't understand. Emotions are supposed to be a mental thing, right? Not something that cause you physcial pain, and later on the lack of ability to breathe...righT??
Sum: He kicked me out of his life, for a 15 year old, who is a virgin, and plans on staying that way. Matt is the horniest guy alive, that is why him and I got along so well.
She is in ninth grade. He is 21, a roofer.
She is a Gemini. He is a Pisces.
I am furious. I am terrible at explaining, but could really use some FUCK you poetry to read.
I want to know why some girl was better than me? And why so fucking young?
This is me ranting on serious medications, so emotions are pretty numbed. FYI.
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IRONMAN CANADA
1 min read
DUN NUH NUH!!
It's Iron Man Canada today. HOLY FUCK THERE IS A SHIT TON OF MENTAL PEOPLE HERE. Who pays thousands of dollars to compete in such a triathlon??
Swim: 2.4 miles Bike: 112 miles Run: 26.2 miles
WTF?!
Though, congrats to them. Crazy as it be, to do that, and not reduce the number of people living, is..impressive.
But, I take offense to "IronMan". Have of the competitors are women, and some are kicking butt.
You know what's crazy? The P.H.Association had to raise something like 25, 000 dollars to buy a renewal lease on the race. The man who 'owns' the race, said if we didn't get him the money, he was taking the race else where. D:< what a douche, the race has always been here, starting out with something like 20 people, to now over 3000. D:< Ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
yeah. Off to cheer on the underdogs you have finished. (we give em until midnight to finish).
It's Iron Man Canada today. HOLY FUCK THERE IS A SHIT TON OF MENTAL PEOPLE HERE. Who pays thousands of dollars to compete in such a triathlon??
Swim: 2.4 miles Bike: 112 miles Run: 26.2 miles
WTF?!
Though, congrats to them. Crazy as it be, to do that, and not reduce the number of people living, is..impressive.
But, I take offense to "IronMan". Have of the competitors are women, and some are kicking butt.
You know what's crazy? The P.H.Association had to raise something like 25, 000 dollars to buy a renewal lease on the race. The man who 'owns' the race, said if we didn't get him the money, he was taking the race else where. D:< what a douche, the race has always been here, starting out with something like 20 people, to now over 3000. D:< Ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
yeah. Off to cheer on the underdogs you have finished. (we give em until midnight to finish).
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Thank You.
1 min read
Huh,
You make me feel happy.
I haven't felt happy in a long time, I've come to realize.
Thank you.
You make me feel happy.
I haven't felt happy in a long time, I've come to realize.
Thank you.
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Hormones,
2 min read
Hormones,
So fun.
They can cause great bliss, or pure hell.
All depends on the RIGHT hormones.
And I think I've found a guy who can handle ALL my hormonal issues.
Bad ones, PMS, I'm not lying, I'm the biggest bitch ever, yet he smiles and takes it and gives me flowers!! Then our compatible hormones are fantfuckingtastic.
No other guy has turned me on with just a look before! And i have not one complaint about anything about him. And BF AND GF for a few days now, seeing each other a few weeks, life is good.
He love other hormones. Never met a more perfect match. Like, HOMFG! his tounge...peirced. Oh yes ladies, yes.
I think I could love this one. WHo knows.perfect match. perfect is such a bad term. but He is fresh meat....moved from a province over recently. So new to town. And in this town, new pperson, hot topic. and he is so out there and not afraid of what people think. Walking home today in cludued blaring music from phone, and dancing down the sidewalk on mian street. fun as hell, and i like that it didn't bother Harm in the least. Does his own thing, and adores me. How can I complain.
and EVERYDAY, since our first outting I've gotted a flower. So i have a collected of like 15 or 18 flowers in my room. amazing.
HARM MICHEAL MIK - Albertian all the way. Yet came to lovely BC looking for work. Which he did indeed find. With me!! Woooooooooork. blargh.
Besdies the fact that I can't sleep, and even after like 36 hours of no sleep i am talking on is scary. I know'll have a good chuckles when i come back here, not incoherent, and have seen what i wrote.
I love many of you. and many more i've never even spoken too. i should fixe that.... iokay my fellow deviants, I am going to rest in the compy huge bedf else where in my home. have a good day tomorrow everyone.
g'nightj
So fun.
They can cause great bliss, or pure hell.
All depends on the RIGHT hormones.
And I think I've found a guy who can handle ALL my hormonal issues.
Bad ones, PMS, I'm not lying, I'm the biggest bitch ever, yet he smiles and takes it and gives me flowers!! Then our compatible hormones are fantfuckingtastic.
No other guy has turned me on with just a look before! And i have not one complaint about anything about him. And BF AND GF for a few days now, seeing each other a few weeks, life is good.
He love other hormones. Never met a more perfect match. Like, HOMFG! his tounge...peirced. Oh yes ladies, yes.
I think I could love this one. WHo knows.perfect match. perfect is such a bad term. but He is fresh meat....moved from a province over recently. So new to town. And in this town, new pperson, hot topic. and he is so out there and not afraid of what people think. Walking home today in cludued blaring music from phone, and dancing down the sidewalk on mian street. fun as hell, and i like that it didn't bother Harm in the least. Does his own thing, and adores me. How can I complain.
and EVERYDAY, since our first outting I've gotted a flower. So i have a collected of like 15 or 18 flowers in my room. amazing.
HARM MICHEAL MIK - Albertian all the way. Yet came to lovely BC looking for work. Which he did indeed find. With me!! Woooooooooork. blargh.
Besdies the fact that I can't sleep, and even after like 36 hours of no sleep i am talking on is scary. I know'll have a good chuckles when i come back here, not incoherent, and have seen what i wrote.
I love many of you. and many more i've never even spoken too. i should fixe that.... iokay my fellow deviants, I am going to rest in the compy huge bedf else where in my home. have a good day tomorrow everyone.
g'nightj
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